i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize