I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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