why do cheetos always look like penises
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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