I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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