I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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