Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
