I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize