Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
