I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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