i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
