just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
im holly from the hills drunk
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True strength comes from lack of pants
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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