They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
