I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize