Texts From Last Night

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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.

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  (252): I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real. http://tfl.nu/u784
  Replies (20) Good night (690) Bad night (3147)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless

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  (609): if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless http://tfl.nu/3wa2
  Replies (11) Good night (4318) Bad night (815)
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  (949): View more from California

  i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it

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  (949): i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it http://tfl.nu/yzwv
  Replies (4) Good night (858) Bad night (3411)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.

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  (315): I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions. http://tfl.nu/ogn1
  Replies (3) Good night (2671) Bad night (942)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.

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  (419): laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma. http://tfl.nu/ccs9
  Replies (7) Good night (3326) Bad night (764)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?

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  (419): How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter? http://tfl.nu/8q8x
  Replies (4) Good night (580) Bad night (881)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.

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  (712): Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking. http://tfl.nu/ew1c
  Replies (5) Good night (1351) Bad night (537)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.

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  (503): Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them. http://tfl.nu/c1rb
  Replies (12) Good night (1269) Bad night (504)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.

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  (570): Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore. http://tfl.nu/httm
  Replies (1) Good night (1163) Bad night (323)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.

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  (330): The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though. http://tfl.nu/97ky
  Replies (2) Good night (779) Bad night (674)
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  (310): View more from California

  I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party

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  (310): I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party http://tfl.nu/6q7p
  Replies (2) Good night (1122) Bad night (675)
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  (925): View more from California

  A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.

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  (925): A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas. http://tfl.nu/wou7
  Replies (4) Good night (759) Bad night (317)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him

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  (734): Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him http://tfl.nu/qq0a
  Replies (0) Good night (372) Bad night (532)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  you are like the bill nye of illicit activities

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  (512): you are like the bill nye of illicit activities http://tfl.nu/fr89
  Replies (1) Good night (605) Bad night (240)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  How do you even...

  (770): View more from Georgia

  The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.

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  (770): Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit. (865): How do you even... (770): The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course. http://tfl.nu/umgu
  Replies (6) Good night (914) Bad night (245)

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