the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
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So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
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Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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