pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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