I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize