so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize