yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
