I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
