id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
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Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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