Where did you get a picture of my penis
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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