You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i think i scared a bird with my dick
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is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
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I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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