Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I need water and some morals
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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