I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
this is an emotional support booty call
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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