At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
