i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
