You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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