ugly people sure do ruin things
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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