I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.