I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great