I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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