He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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