I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize