Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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