i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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