Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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