The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Randomize