my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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