I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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