She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize