i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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