you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize