I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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