I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize