I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize