i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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