He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
