so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
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Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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