Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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