Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
