I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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