I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
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he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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